In my own experience as well as clients I’ve worked with in the past, major set backs affect us for life. These include but are not limited to: divorce, bankruptcy, fired from a job one loved, liquidating and closing a business, brush with terminal illness or death, failing repeatedly a licensing exam, essentially spending a fortune and never practicing a career, etc., etc.
Regardless of your personal philosophical perspective, we men will take big hits in life that can strengthen or debilitate us. Although, the same can be said about women, men in general, are affected differently.
Men closely identify their identity with what they do workwise or their career. This can be life altering because if you lose a job or a business you also lose the concept of yourself.
As a man you are way more than what you do for a living. By the same token, it is up to you to define yourself. If you want to explore your identity, something few ever do, but very necessary. State out loud or write, “I am the kind of person that_____”. Do it until you run out of verbs or adjectives.
When you are stuck in Houston traffic use that time to do this mental exercise. What you will discover is your unconscious mind talking to you, the real source of your mental construct.
Do an audit of your beliefs pre and post big hit. How were you changed? What did the years of experience teach you? Every major hit can be viewed as something that needed to happen to shift you or redirect you in your life’s purpose.
Ponder on this, if you visit a cemetery, there lies the sum total of human existence. Every single thing you have been trough, others have also experienced the same. The difference is how they responded or bounced back stronger and more resilient to face life. Many legendary men have a storied history of numerous setbacks that catapulted them to greatness. If they did it so can you. They were ordinary men doing extraordinary things.
Among esoteric circles, the belief exists that earth is the hardest school in the universe. We are here to learn not to lament how unfair life or people are. Stop blaming yourself, own what has happened and move on. Doing so, you can receive your Phd. in resiliency. So the real question to ask is, “To be a life warrior or a casualty”. Only you can answer that question.